Selling Vegetables to Drunks: Lessons I Learned as an Alcoholic's Daughter - Paperback

by Laurie L. Hellmann (Author), Beth Rayner (Foreword by)

Heralded as "a compelling story full of heart and humor," Laurie L. Hellmann's second memoir, Selling Vegetables to Drunks, is equal parts requiem for a dead father and a rededication of life for those he left behind.

Travel with mother, sales executive, autism advocate, podcaster, and acclaimed author Laurie L. Hellmann on an autumn road trip from Charlestown, Indiana, to Marshall, Michigan, to bury her alcoholic father - a man whose dreams were permanently deferred, whose secrets followed him to the grave, and whose addiction all but defined the way his children experienced the world. In this captivating true story, readers "ride shotgun" with Laurie, eavesdropping on her conversations with her teenage daughter, Kendall, about the secrets of her former life, the truth about her father, and the nostalgic "good times" she and her sister had while growing up "in the country" on the outskirts of a small Midwestern town.

For anyone who has ever coped with the complex emotions of losing someone who was deeply flawed - and even abusive - this book lays bare the kind of communication and introspection it takes to forgive and hold accountable those who wronged us while committing to ourselves (and our children, spouses, and others) that the cycles of violence, addiction, and/or dysfunction end with us.

From Pain to Purpose, From Helpless Child to Devoted Parent

The number of times that Laurie Hellmann was driven in a smoke-filled car by a drunk father defies logic. The number of times her father nearly died from the health consequences of his addiction is a medical mystery. The ways in which the daughters of Rocky Sullivan persevered, avoided becoming bitter or closed off, and ultimately became devoted mothers and patient, inspiring leaders in their communities is a testament to the human spirit's capacity for resilience.

We are not our parents. We are more than our pasts. There is "life after death" and function after dysfunction.

Selling Vegetables to Drunks takes us into neighborhood bars and backyard gardens, childhood dance studios and 1980s living rooms, and leaves us with lessons about forgiveness and pain, affection and abandonment, marriage and parenthood, life and death ... and the nearly impossible task of "moving on" after loss.

Tell your friends and colleagues "my father died" and they will often ask, "Were you close?" Laurie L. Hellmann's raw and honest narrative takes us inside the complexities of that question for those of us whose parents could have done better - those of us who were left to navigate our own parenting journeys with a guidebook missing some essential chapters. Getting from where we've been to where we want to go is a complex journey, full of pitstops and breakdowns, and ultimately - healing and perspective. It is possible that what you have survived has perfectly prepared you for what life needs from you now.

Hellmann draws a direct connection between her dysfunctional childhood and her own beautiful family, saying "I would not be who I am today without the wounds of my past. The depths of my childhood suffering gave me the perspective to find my higher purpose in parenting my two amazing kids - my gregarious, hilarious, studious daughter, Kendall, and my sweet, funny, strong, resilient nonspeaking autistic son, Skyler. I was meant to be their mother. And perhaps, I was meant to be Rocky Sullivan's daughter."